10. Omar Gonzalez—Arguably the most mundane victory tweet of all time:

Hey guys, i had tons of fun today. Thanks.

— Omar Gonzalez (@Omar4Gonzalez) November 8, 2012

9. Nick Rimando—Two days later and he was still feeling it.

Just want my dry snot to be back to green and not red. That's it.

— Nick Rimando (@NickRimando) November 5, 2012

8. Alejandro Bedoya—Best feeling in the world:

Thought I had to do the laundry today.......but I found a couple pairs of underwear! Whew

— Alejandro Bedoya (@AleBedoya17) November 5, 2012

7. Heath Pearce—Apparently he’s bros with the star of Drake & Josh. Who knew?

“@drakebell: @heathgpearce awesome!!!” My dude!!!! What's good?

— Heath Pearce (@HeathGPearce) November 8, 2012

6. Jay DeMerit—The two-party system has failed on the partying front.

1 thing I learned last night watching election events around the country, although we're improving as a nation, we're still bad at dancing..

— Jay DeMerit (@D6MERIT) November 7, 2012

5. Jozy Altidore—Pretty cool that Rise and Shine is getting love all over the world. Google Translate helps us out: “True story of a young American footballer with no experience…”

@d6merit the jay demerit story on my tv in holland. #bigtime #greatstory twitter.com/JozyAltidore/s…

— Jozy Altidore (@JozyAltidore) November 7, 2012

4. Juan Agudelo—Unsolicited FIFA challenge? Sounds like Juan isn’t too confident in his Halo skills:

“@jozyaltidore: Halo 4” D message me your gamertag so I can treat you like a lil kid like on fifa.

— Juan Agudelo (@jagudelo11) November 7, 2012

3. Joe Gyau—Bundesliga 2 groupies are cold!

Sheesh... Euro chicks can be heartless

— Joe Gyau (@JoeGyau36) November 4, 2012

2. Herculez Gomez—Says the guy with 193 photos on Instagram (http://instagram.com/herculezg):

Every woman is a professional model.. You are a top rated food critic… And your vacations should be covered by Robin Leach..#Instagram ????

— herculez gomez (@herculezg) November 6, 2012

1. Dax McCarty—Good conditioner is an underrated part of any man’s arsenal, but it’s essential in November:

Movember participants: Dont neglect ur stache. Daily shampoo/conditioner sessions a must. Follow w/ a good brushing. Happy stache=happy life

— Dax McCarty (@DaxMcCarty11) November 6, 2012