SO THE UNITED STATES played a match against Mexico last night in Columbus—perhaps you saw the highlights on SportsCenter or something.

The Americans won, 2-0, despite starting Keanu Reeves at quarterback. Eddie Johnson scored the first goal. Landon Donovan scored the second. The Mexican players looked sad.

Here's what Sepp Blatter's little boys' club had to say about the match.

Matthew Doyle wrote that the U.S.' Eddie Johnson outplayed Mexico's Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez. Wait—Chicharito played?!? Really? Didn't notice him.

EJ wasn't the only Yank who played well, and goalkeeper Tim Howard earned the highest aggregated ratings among U.S. players.

There were as many memorable moments after the match as there were before. Jermaine Jones looked like he was at some sort of post-Apocalyptic Revolutionary War re-enactment. Frankie Hejduk scared us, and the crowd. Mix Diskerud's hair bounced.

The bottom line is that United States qualified for the World Cup Finals in Brazil. Mission accomplished. It's a pretty big deal for the organization, for U.S. fans, and for a little startup we like to call American Soccer Now.

American soccer when?

Now.