10. Carlos Bocanegra: Pure class

@Omar4Gonzalez congrats big man.

— Carlos Bocanegra (@BocaBoca3) August 16, 2013

9. Kelyn Rowe: We’ll see come January

@JuanAgudelo like kobayashi... Nom nom nom nom nom!

— KelynRowe (@Krowe210) August 16, 2013

8. Heath Pearce: If you have an iPhone, no.

Does the "I never got your text" excuse still work??? Cuz I still use it daily

— Heath Pearce (@HeathGPearce) August 13, 2013

7. Stu Holden: This is some Adrian Peterson-esque recovery

First week of rehab has gone really well and should be off crutches by the weekend! Onward and upward ????#whatacl #crushingit #noholdenback

— Stuart Holden (@stuholden) August 15, 2013

6. Omar Salgado: You get to eat ice cream and mashed potatoes for three days, it's not all bad

Wisdom teeth pulled out today.... Wow its painful... #notgood

— Omar Salgado (@Omaresalgado) August 13, 2013

5. Tony Beltran: Please don’t do that

Thinking of giving up my trade and making a late push for Sochi. Look out @jagarcia23 @matth660 #Houseofbros pic.twitter.com/aP7L0KFMYd

— Tony Beltran (@tonybeltran23) August 14, 2013

4. Joe Gyau: Indeed he did

god damn! this man Jozy went effin HAM

— Joe Gyau (@JoeGyau36) August 14, 2013

3. Jozy Altidore: And here we were talking about how mature Jozy had become

Hoes will be hoes...

— Jozy Altidore (@JozyAltidore) August 12, 2013

Yes I'm talking about gardening tools. What else would I be talking about? ????

— Jozy Altidore (@JozyAltidore) August 12, 2013

2. Juan Agudelo: Don’t we all?

Wish Nutella grew in my back yard.

— Juan Agudelo (@JuanAgudelo) August 17, 2013

1. Mix Diskerud: Live-tweeting a random cat in your house automatically earns the No. 1 spot

Who's cat is in my house!!?? I can't touch it, because I'm allergic. So, any advice on how to get him/her out the door?

— Mix Diskerud (@MixDiskerud) August 16, 2013

I'm loving the suggestions. Keep them coming. Some are brutal though... Update: The cat is further in the house now

— Mix Diskerud (@MixDiskerud) August 16, 2013

Update: Situation is now under control. Close call.. I kind of feel sorry for the cat now though pic.twitter.com/8QSHEMb2bm

— Mix Diskerud (@MixDiskerud) August 16, 2013

The cat is still outside the door by the way

— Mix Diskerud (@MixDiskerud) August 16, 2013